SAN DIEGO — Parents and grandparents can play a significant role in fostering vocations.
At least, that’s been the experience of many priests, religious … and even bishops.
Father Bernardo Lara, 36, was born in Chula Vista and grew up in Rosarito.
He said that his parents gave him “a solid foundation” in the faith, sending him to Catholic schools, taking the Sunday Mass obligation seriously, and making prayer part of the daily routine.
“As a family, we never missed a Sunday Mass” and, on the morning commute to school, “there would be no music until we did our prayers,” said Father Lara, who recalled that his family prayed one or two decades of the rosary together every day.
At the same time, he said, his family’s piety wasn’t such that they were constantly at church.
Father Lara said that one of the greatest lessons he learned from his parents about the faith was “the sacrificial aspect of love.”
“Real love entails sacrifices,” he said, explaining that his parents made sacrifices for him, for their family, and even for strangers in need.
His parents were the foundation of his priestly vocation, “but they never pushed it” on him. Rather, they encouraged him to do well in whatever vocation God intended for him.
As a high school junior, Father Lara told his parents that he wanted to attend a diocesan Explorer Day to learn more about the priesthood and that he was seriously considering entering the seminary after high school.
He said that his parents didn’t believe him at first, thinking that it might be just a phase.
“Once I start to ask for more support,” he said, “they were surprised, but they were happy and always willing to help.”
Father Lara thinks it would have been “harder to listen to the voice of God” if his parents hadn’t raised him in a religious environment.
On how parents can best promote vocations, he said, the first thing is to model love of God and love of neighbor, neglecting neither of these duties.
“Quite often, families choose only one — either just love God and we kind of forget about neighbor, or we love neighbor and we forget about God,” he said.
Father Lara noted that his parents’ example of helping the needy, even when their family had its own financial struggles, was “one of the things that created a bigger impact in me.”
His second piece of advice for parents of potential priests and bishops is, “Don’t force it.”
Acknowledging that many cultures rightly see it as “a blessing to have a priest or a nun in the family,” he cautioned parents against trying “to unconsciously push” that vocation on their child.
“If it’s from God,” he said, “it’s going to come from God.”
‘Pray about it first’
Mike Sibal, 35, is a second-year seminarian in the Diocese of San Diego.
Born in Oakland and raised in San Diego, Sibal also credits his parents and grandparents with helping “to plant the seed of (his) vocation.”
He grew up in a home that resembled “a little domestic chapel.” It was decorated with Catholic religious imagery, included a family altar in the living room, and regularly served as a meeting place for neighborhood Bible studies and other gatherings.
“Growing up, my grandparents and parents placed a significant emphasis on our Catholic faith, reminding my sisters and (me) that it is the most important part of our lives,” he said. “We never missed Sunday Mass (or) holy days of obligations as a family, and we prayed the rosary together regularly in front of our family altar.”
He was taught to pray upon waking; before meals; at 3 p.m., the hour that Jesus died; and before bed. He regularly saw his parents praying in the car before trips and, during longer ones, the family would pray the rosary and Divine Mercy Chaplet together. His parents encouraged him to “pray about it first” before making major decisions.
Sibal and his sisters also received “early exposure to the corporal works of mercy,” when his parents brought them to Father Joe’s Villages to deliver donations and to serve meals to the homeless.
In 2016, Sibal told his parents that he wanted to become a priest, and they were “very supportive and encouraging.”
He encourages Catholic parents to create “a healthy environment of prayer and faith in the home,” including frequent family prayer and Catholic imagery around the house. He also recommended openly talking about vocations and assembling a “Saint Squad” — consisting of three to five specific saints — to “spiritually adopt” each of their children, interceding for them about their vocation.
‘I could have lost my vocation’
Sister Hellen Muchira, a 57-year-old member of the Sisters of the Incarnate Word and Blessed Sacrament, was born in Nairobi, Kenya, and has ministered for about a decade in the San Diego Diocese.
Sister Muchira grew up in a Catholic family. Her father, who died when she was 12 years old, was Catholic; her mother, originally a non-Catholic Christian, entered into full communion with the Church when the couple married.
The family lived about a two-hour walk from the parish church, where they attended Mass twice a year.
For Masses at the parish church, Sister Muchira said, the children were instructed to sit in front.
“Every time, we arrived late because of our distance, and I would find the priest (at) the altar, and I will … sit at his feet,” she recalled.
That close-up look filled her with admiration for the priestly vocation and, not knowing that the ordained priesthood is reserved to men, she felt a strong desire to be a priest herself. At age 8, her mother couldn’t find her after one Mass, because she had gone into the sacristy to share this yearning with the priest and to seek his counsel.
By the time she was in sixth grade, Sister Muchira realized that only men can become priests.
“I was very much discouraged, because I really wanted to become a priest,” she said. “But now, knowing that priests are men, now what can I do? What is the next step I can do?”
Sister Muchira told her mother, “I want you to take me back (into) the stomach. I want to be born like a man, so that I can become a priest.”
Her mother consoled her with the words of Jeremiah 29:11, which says: “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you … plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope.”
“I was crying, and crying, and crying,” said Sister Muchira. “But my mom kept on consoling me, telling me, ‘Just read the Bible. Maybe God has something for you. … Let us pray the rosary.’”
Ultimately, Sister Muchira found her vocation with the Sisters of the Incarnate Word and Blessed Sacrament. She entered religious life in 1988 and made her first and final vows in 1992 and 1997, respectively.
Sister Muchira, who is currently in charge of religious education at Most Precious Blood Parish in Chula Vista, reflected on her mother’s role in her vocational journey.
She said that her mother “realized there’s something going on in the life of this child.” Had her mother been inattentive or unobservant, she said, “I could have lost my vocation on the way.”
As the oldest daughter in her family, it traditionally would have fallen to Sister Muchira to support her mother and siblings. But her mother was “very supportive” of her decision to respond to God’s call.
What advice does she have for today’s Catholic parents?
“Good vocations and good children come up because of the presence of God and the presence of Mother Mary in our families,” she said.
‘Faith is not just words’
Bishop Pulido, who has served since 2023 as one of San Diego’s auxiliary bishops, grew up in a small town west of Mexico City, “where Catholic life was everywhere.”
From his grandparents, the future bishop learned a simple lesson: “Live your faith every day.”
“My grandparents did that,” he said. “They prayed the rosary daily. They never missed Sunday Mass and, many times, they even went during the week.
“Their example taught me that faith is not just about words,” he said. “It’s about showing up, being faithful, and letting God be part of your daily rhythm.”
Bishop Pulido said that his grandmother prayed every day that some member of the family would “give their life completely to the Lord.”
“When I finally told her that I wanted to go to the seminary,” he said, “she looked up to Heaven and simply said, ‘Thank you, Lord. Finally, you have answered my prayers.’ … It was her prayerful faith, not pressure or persuasion, that prepared my heart to say ‘yes.’”
Bishop Pulido said that Catholic parents and grandparents have “a bigger role than you think” when it comes to vocations.
“I truly believe that, when children see faith lived joyfully at home and in the parish,” he said, “they will be better able to hear God’s call in the middle of all the noise of the world. And some of them, like me, may even discover the joy of giving their whole life to him.”
