Perspective: Why I chose life over death


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By Sarah Keller

I have come to strongly believe that adoption is as viable an option as parenting. Why? Because I had an abortion.

In February of 2017, at age 21, I stepped into the cold surgical room of a well-known “healthcare” clinic and left with less of me than when I entered.

For the next two-plus years, I soothed the aching void in my womanhood with extreme workouts, non-stop work, and promiscuity. It wasn’t until I found myself imploding from the grief that I finally decided to seek post-abortion grief counseling at a pregnancy resource medical clinic.

Not long after, I found myself pregnant again.

The fearful and self-sufficient girl inside of me began to soften into a humbled and discerning woman. I first had to acknowledge my gut-wrenching grief due to choosing death before. I also had to acknowledge that God has a plan for life at conception, that this child was made for a purpose; far be it from me to get in the way.

The second time I found myself pregnant, no less than by a man with whom I didn’t even want association, things were different. I knew this child needed a secure and loving father in its life from the start.

So, I chose life.

I learned to reach out to my community. I told my closest friends, who I knew would keep a confidence while I figured out what to do.

From there, I sought out information. The beauty of pregnancy is that there’s sufficient time to find resources, educate oneself, and decide. I didn’t know three important things in my previous pregnancy: What a pregnancy resource center was, what all of my options were, and what are the emotional/spiritual/physical/mental consequences of an abortion.

The lack of information in the abortion industry is alarming considering that abortion is a silent killer of both mother (emotionally and sometimes physically) and child.

When I started looking for resources, I realized I was already connected to a pregnancy resource clinic because of the abortion grief counseling I had received. It’s amazing how that one resource took me in at my worst, and again at a low point, but now offered me hope that life would emerge from the darkness.

I immersed myself in brochures and classes. Now, I could make an informed decision.

I also had come back to my faith and recommitted my life to Christ; I submitted the life of this baby to the Lord’s will. Within two months of my pregnancy, I knew without a doubt that my child was to be a gift for someone else, and at five months, I knew I wanted to place my child in a local, open adoption.

What does an open adoption look like for a single mother? I would like to share three components that I believe apply to open adoptions.

First, there are millions of parents with arms wide open, ready to receive a child and maintain an open adoption.

Second, the birth mother does not have to pay a cent in the adoption process. Placing a child into a loving home is sacrifice enough.

Third is community. I had family members who didn’t like my decision; I had friends who didn’t understand it; I had mothers who said I should have kept my son. But in the pro-life adoption community, I found that it’s OK if my family and friends “didn’t get it” because there are millions of people who do.

In my surrender to the Lord, He led me to meet a beautiful couple before I even knew I was placing my baby boy for adoption. Through a few months of processing and prayer, I realized they were the parents for my son.

He is now 22 months old, and the happiest boy I know. His parents give him so much love, a beautiful life — and I am a vital part of that.

Our relationship is a friendship, attached by love and bound by blood, with enough pictures to fill five scrapbooks at this point. I have milestones to look forward to now; not shame to cover or an ache to numb. Sure, there’s still pain to process and a story to tell, but it’s all to say this: I have chosen death and I have chosen life. I can tell you, choosing life is the only option that will bring you life.

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